It's another one of those crazy things that you wouldn't think would be true, but somehow is - the joy that I've had from talking my kids through the loss of all our babies. I think I dreaded the pain that would come with talking about them, and don't get me wrong, there are surely many tears involved. Somehow, though, having to explain heaven over and over has made that place so much nearer. Having my son hug me when I cry and say, "It's ok, mommy, you will get to rock our babies when you get to heaven," reminds me to hold tightly to the hope of what's to come and loosely to the pain of what I've lost. Talking about Everett, Micha, Karis & Karov with the boys, answering their questions about where they are and why they aren't here and what they are doing and when they will see them has kept them near and made them part of our family and that is so comforting to this momma. Beckett suggested that next year we tie balloons onto Everett's cake so we could float it up to him, and he could eat some, too :-) And in all of these talks we have had new opportunities to point our boys to Christ, to talk of death and sin and then of Jesus and life forever. Already I can see death is bringing life in our lives and that gives me joy I can hold on to.
'Jesus said, "Coming home to God is as wonderful as finding a treasure! You might have to dig before you find it. You might have to look before you see it. You might even have to give up everything you have to get it. But being where God is - being in his kingdom - that's more important than anything else in all the world. It's worth anything you have to give up!" Jesus told them. "Because God is the real treasure."
God had a treasure, too, of course. A treasure that was lost, long, long, ago. What was God's treasure, his most important thing, the thing God loved best in all the world?
God's treasure was his children.
It was why Jesus had come into the world. To find God's treasure. And pay the price to win them back. And Jesus would do it - even if it cost him everything he had.'
Matthew 13 - Jesus Storybook Bible